Letter to Ryan

I've been wanting to write a letter to you for a year now. 

I think I'm finally ready.

Dear Ryan,

I love you more than you will ever know.  Even before you were physically here.  Each day I thank the Lord that he gave you to us.  I keep wondering.....how can I be this lucky?  I don't deserve this happiness.  And then I remember how wonderful our creator is and how His love for us is beyond what we could imagine.  One day you will grow up and have a relationship with Him and understand this kind of Love.
We prayed for you.  Our prayers were answered.  You have been an angel.  A sweet baby.  A beautiful baby girl. 

Most people say you look like your daddy.  I would agree but some days you do seem to favor me some.  You definitely have both of our personalities.  Sometimes you are laid back and cool (like Daddy) but most of the time you are dancing full of energy and talking.  A bit of a drama queen (like me).  You are definitely a Gemini.

We have spent this summer together.  Yes, we spent last summer together also but mommy wasn't able to "take it in" like I can now.  You have grown so much the past couple of months, even your Nana can't believe how you have changed.  This has been the best summer of my life. We have become best friends and I love you even more (and I didn't think that was possible).

You have a variety of nicknames.  I call you so many ........cutiepatootie, cutie-pa-too, Angel baby,  my favorite girl in the world, pa-too-ta, and Ryan.  People wonder if you have a double name "Ryan Claire" or if your name is just "Ryan".  I tell them its Ryan but your Gammie and Nana and Gracie and Tee Tee call you Ryan Claire (along with many other people).  It doesn't matter to me whether they call you Ryan or Ryan Claire (either way is beautiful to me).  When you grow up I'll let you decide which you want to be.

I could write all day about you.  You are so lovely.  You are so beautiful.  You are my daughter, my baby girl.  I used to dream about having you.  (when I was a little girl I always wanted a little girl and to be a mommy)

You are a dream come true.
You are perfect.
You are our true love.
You are truly an angel. (One doctor told me you weren't in my stomach anymore! He was stupid and I'm so glad he was WRONG)

I love you.
Daddy loves you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Always

Love,
Mommy