A Hobby

Three times this month I have been asked,

"Natisha, what are your hobbies?  What do you like to do?". 

I was surprised, perhaps even a little embarrased when I answered because I have not had an answer.

If you had asked me these questions 3 years ago I probably would have had all kinds of answers.  Things would have just rolled off my tongue as if second nature..."I like to travel, read finance books, hang out with my mom, read about and taste different wines, research ANYTHING that I want to know about, cook new recipes, workout, talk (is that a hobby??)..."

After being asked this innocent question and people saying, "you seem so intellectual, do you read?" and "What?! You don't have a hobby?", I have been reflecting. 

Here are my thoughts (imagine me with a bubble coming from my head in deep thought):

"Well, I'd love to have a hobby and be the "fun Natisha" that I think I used to be but truth is, I don't have time.  I have so much going on right now--like mother-ing and wife-ing and sister-ing and daughter-in-law-ing and sleep-ing that I guess I haven't made time to do any "fun-Natisha-ing"."

Wow.

Now that I have written documented my lack of "hobbying" or as some would call "me-time" it kind of makes me a little sad.

I have got to find something to do.  I have got to get back to the "fun Natisha". 

and I hope when I find her that she's still fun.

 or something like that...

"Yes, Daddy"

Seeing Ryan with her daddy is the icing on the cake for me.  They are so sweet as I watch them and imagine what they will be like in the years to come. 

Their newest "moments" have to do with their conversations.  R says "okay?" a lot when he talks to her.  For instance--right now (literally) he is talking to her about how she is not supposed to throw things.  (she just finished tossing all of her puzzle pieces all around and one almost hit my computer)

R-"Ryan, you cannot throw the puzzle pieces, okay?"

Ryan-"okay Daddy"

R-"So now you have to sit down until Daddy's says you can get up, okay?" (his version of timeout)

Ryan-"okay Daddy!"
Then he picks her up to sit her on the couch with him and then......

Ryan-" NO DADDY!"  (as she stretches out and slides off the couch)

The part to note is the "____ Daddy."  For the past few days, anytime she responds to him she says "daddy" at the end.

"tankyou Daddy"
"pees Daddy"
"book Daddy"
and his favorite "okay Daddy"

I love watching her.  I love watchin her with him.  I didn't think my heart could get any bigger. 

I guess I was wrong.

Notes

As a mother I always find myself telling people about this
"love I never knew I could have"
and how "I could never imagine that it would be like this"
and "this is a blessing beyond what I thought"
and "she is just an angel" "she such a sweet baby"
etc, etc.

I say these things all the time.  I don't even think twice about proclaiming my love and happiness with her. 
While all these things still hold true my language in describing motherhood and Ryan have come to a different phase...thanks to toddlerhood.

Now, you will hear things like: 

"She is a mess." "She talks all the time"
"Oh my God, can you believe she just said (fill in the blank)"
"She is wearing me out!"
"She is so busy"

and Ryan hears:
"No baby" "you are so smart!"
"Stop that baby" "I love you"
"No, don't say that" "You can have some water but no juicin" (that's what she calls juice)
"Ryan, where are you?!!!!"
"No toque" (don't touch in spanish)
"Are you serious?"

My how things are changing.